KindaGirl

i’m the kinda girl who is ‘one of the guys’
the one who is always there for everyone
else when they need it. the one who puts
others before herself. i’m the kinda girl
who would rather be in sweats, big tee’s
and no make up at school, but dresses
up because its what people expect of her.
i’m the kinda girl, who regrets little things
from the past, like not joining a sports team.
i’m the kinda girl who loves her sports, but
also loves getting dressed all fancy and
acting like a princess. i’m the kinda girl who
everyone knows her name, but nobody takes
the time to know her. the one everyone sees
walking with her one best friend and they
all just stare. i’m the kinda girl who can be
hurt, but will take time to make someone else
happy, even though she cant make herself.
i’m the kinda girl who acts all tough, but is
really not as tough as you think. the girl
that jokes around, but sometimes likes to
be serious. the kinda girl who acts like things
dont bug her or hurt her, just so people dont think
they are actually bothering her. the kinda girl who
can take so much pain, and bottles it all up inside her.
i’m the quiet one of my girl friends, but with my guy
friends i’m the loud one. i’m the girl that is afraid of
rejection and denial, but yet risks so much.
the kinda girl that you wouldnt realize what goes on
at home, because at school she has a smile on her
face. i’m the kinda girl who just wishes some
things would change. the one that wants something
different and new. and is sick of bulls**t.

(P.S. copied from somewhere…. somehow describes me )

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ghazal

mera nam likh kr kahin mehfooz krlo,

tumhari yaadon se, baaton se nikalta ja raha hai.

mere chehray ko  kahin zehn nashin krlo,

tumhare khaabon se, nazron se nikalta ja raha hai.

meri chahton ko kahin samet kr rakhlo,

tumhari mohabbat se,  wadon se ghafil hota ja raha ahi.

meri ahat  ko smbhal kr rakh lena,

tumhari taraf ane se ab dil ghabrane lagta hai.

meri narazgiyon ko smbhal kr rakh lena,

Q ka ab na koi roothne wala aur na manane wala hai

Aee kash

ae kash, aesa na hota

hum kbhe barey na hotey,

wo bachpan bht pyara tha,

wo nazuk, masoom dil bht pyara tha,

jb hum khol kr muskurate the.

Aee kash, aesa no hota

hum kbhe barey na hote ,

na kisi ko hum se shikayat hote,

na koi hum se  kbhe khafa hota

sb bacha smjh kr maf krdete.

Aee kash, aesa no hota ,

wo ami ka anchal bht pyara tha,

wo khauwb bht pyare the,

jinhe dekhte the aur tutne ka khof na hota tha,

wo wkt bhe guzar gaya .

Aee kash, aesa na hota .

hum kbhe barey an hote.

pehle jesa

pehle jesa kch bhe na raha

na tm, na main, aur na ye wkt,

sb ek adhura khoob sa rah gaya

sub ek andhere chaon sa rah gaya

pehle jesa khc bhe na raha,

na tm, na main aur na ye wkt,

na ye rat ke chandani wase hai,

na ye suraj ke roshni.

pehle jaisa kch bhe na raha,

na tm, na main aur na ye wakt

khamoshi ke zuban rahe,

aunson main ankhen rahe.

pehle jaisa kch bhe na raha,

na tm, na main aur na ye wkt,

bht smjhaya khd ko,

bht manaya khd ko.

 pehle jaisa kch bhe na raha,

na tm, na main aur na ye wkt ,

pus pehle jaisa kch bhe na raha

Life :)

Some people can just move on, you know. They mourn and cry and then they’re done with it or at least appear to be. But to me, I don’t know. I didn’t want to fix it; I didn’t want to forget it. It wasn’t something that was broken, it was just something that happened. And I’m finding ways, everyday, of working around it. I’m respecting and remembering it, but I’m getting along with my life at the same time.

i dont knw :)

Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you’re alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.