Some people can just move on, you know. They mourn and cry and then they’re done with it or at least appear to be. But to me, I don’t know. I didn’t want to fix it; I didn’t want to forget it. It wasn’t something that was broken, it was just something that happened. And I’m finding ways, everyday, of working around it. I’m respecting and remembering it, but I’m getting along with my life at the same time.
Only time will determine when and how you’re going to move on. Sure, it might not be right away like you want it to be, but eventually one day you’ll wake up and realize that somewhere along the way, that piercing feeling you’ve always felt inside your chest faded and went away while you were too busy living life to notice.
Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you’re alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.
You can never tell what people are thinking and feeling unless they tell you, and usually they lie. you ask them, “whats wrong?” and they say “Nothing.” You accept this because its easier than digging for the truth. people smile when they want to cry, they laugh when they want to scream and shout. they pretend like nothing is wrong because they dont want to face the truth. things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you gotta scream and cry your angers and sadness to the world, because you can only hold it in for so long before something in you snaps. so when you want to cry, cry. when you want to scream, scream. dont hide behind fake smiles, its ok to not be alright.
im just me . and thats all I can be no more . no less . no 2nd guess i laugh . i love . i live . i cry and some times i wish i would die some day im funny others im not some times im in overdrive . and i cant stop you may not like me . but thats ok this is me . and this is how ill stay.